Tonight I visited Frank around 8.30 PM and he was quite awake. To my great relief I saw him operating the broken remote control device from the television and it appeared that it had been fixed by the technician of Kalorama. No idea how the guy managed that, but the result is great, Frank can choose what he wants to see again. So thanks to the unknown technician (something similar as the unknown soldier....). Frank told me that he was worried about his life, what has to become of him. I asked him whether he all realized and understood what had happened on which he replied: "I've had a stroke-attack, my left side has disappeared and I have to find and rebuilt it again", it sounds like the title of some horror science fiction movie, but it is the most appropriate summary I've heard until now. The difficult thing is that, probably due to the localization of the brain damage, Frank shows no intense emotions. He expresses no sadness, grief, anger, crying what so ever. He reacts rather blunted (afgevlakt in dutch). So I asked him how he felt about it, and he told me that he was pretty pissed of that the nurses didn't react instantly to his ringing of the bell, that he was frustrated that he couldn't go to work, to THE club (which is Casus Belli), that he wanted to write articles for the casus belli magazine for Marleen, and most of all that he wanted to go home. All so easy to understand and the distance is so incredibly big. But having said that he picked up the paper (nrc, thanks Rense), read a few lines, commented on the big news of today, "great job from the americans that they got bin laden, fish food now" read the fokke and sukke cartoon, and than started to switch TV channels again. He came across a german version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and we watched it for about 20 minutes, it amused him. I helped him eating a portion pudding (vla), and after that he put his bed in horizontal position, started Tripping the Rift (a DVD) which is to me an absolute enigma but to him very very funny. So content with his movie, the pudding in his belly and thankful for the company but enough as it was, he retreated in his own world again.
And as a result of that, so did I.
Thousend times thanks!
To all the followers of the blog, to anyone who has been supportive of Frank or us in the last months and especially after his untimely death we want to say thanks from the bottom of our hearts. In the week after his passing we received so much warmth, stories, care and love, hardly describable. To us it was a very precious and valuable week and it was so good to have Frank at home where so many of his friends could visit him. And all the help, stories and info shared in that week led to a beautiful goodbye ceremony on a beautiful sunny autumn day. For those of you who could not attend, or those of you who wish to reread the funeral speeches, we publice them here (in dutch and english) with some pictures in grateful memory of, and tributed to Frank.We will miss him dearly, thanks for being with him and with us, one way or another,
On behalf of my family and his closest friends, Esther