Thousend times thanks!

To all the followers of the blog, to anyone who has been supportive of Frank or us in the last months and especially after his untimely death we want to say thanks from the bottom of our hearts. In the week after his passing we received so much warmth, stories, care and love, hardly describable. To us it was a very precious and valuable week and it was so good to have Frank at home where so many of his friends could visit him. And all the help, stories and info shared in that week led to a beautiful goodbye ceremony on a beautiful sunny autumn day. For those of you who could not attend, or those of you who wish to reread the funeral speeches, we publice them here (in dutch and english) with some pictures in grateful memory of, and tributed to Frank.We will miss him dearly, thanks for being with him and with us, one way or another,

On behalf of my family and his closest friends, Esther

Foto's Frank

zondag 19 juni 2011

Chez blog

hello all. Well, it is Sunday, and I am not doing much of anything. Speaking "ex cathetra" I could say. To my great joy Mathieu and Walter are here, so the banter is flying thick and fast. After one week, I do not know how much progress I have made, and, in all honesty, it is pretty depressing. The feeling of not knowing whether it will ever get right again. I am being a right pain for some of the nurses, but they are a right pain with their catheters......
yesterday, Niek brought me a copy of "Napoleon at Waterloo", an old S.P.I. INTRODUCTION GAME. I played with Rense (in the role of 'Vilain jeton' (Welllington) and I won.

Some update from the outside by Esther
In the last week Frank made some substantial improvements. To his very great joy he, at last, got rid of the bladder catheter. It means that the part of his brain that notices that the bladder is full and the program to release the urine from the bladder regain function again. Frank also told me that they had been practicing transfers with a sliding board from bed to chair and vice versa. So I deduct out of that, that his trunk balance is improving. The major problem noticed by the nursing staff is his lack of disease insight, and lack of initiative. The major goal (besides the therapies he's receiving) is mobilising (being increasing time up in the chair), but Frank doesn't like that and if there's no distraction he starts (and keeps) saying that he needs to go to the toilet, or wants to lay down. Coming Wednesday we have a first evaluative interview with the treatment staff right here. I'm curious what their opinion will be. To us (his family and friends), we hope that they will keep him here in the SMK, that they see enough progress to prolong his stay.
Looking from the outside, I feel that his spirits go up and down all the time. Sometimes all of a sudden he says he is depressed (I think he still hopes that everything will return to normal, but that is not realistic), another moment he says he's very well. I don't know how he sees the future and wether his expectations are the same as ours. For now, trying not to look too much in to the future, I keep saying to Frank, that if Frank isn't able to go home, the home will come to Frank. To me that is a realitic outlook.
I know the difficult phase in the rehabilitation treatment is when the progress curve starts to flatten, than reality is pushed upon you, sometimes a very harsh experience, realising that things won't return to your old self. Don't know where Frank is right now, but I hope and pray that he will make more progress.
For now, behind my back there's a very animated conversation between Frank, Mathieu, Walter and Rense. I believe they are going to play a Chez Geek's game. It's great to experience that, thanks guys, for keeping up with my brother.


2 opmerkingen:

  1. 'The home will come to Frank', that is a great way to put it. Frank's apartment is not very wheelchair friendly, but a home is not the walls and floors and ceilings, now is it? It's Frank's library and his things, and those can move and will remain.

    And while we're being philosophical, I'd add that just like a home is not a pair of walls, you Frank are not a pair of legs and arms and a body and a voice. You're the person inside of it. And that person is there, as real and lasting as your library, and even more precious.
    I'll see you again soon for more Chez Geek.


  2. Amen, Rense, amen.

    As for little progress, Frank, I hadn't seen you for 3 weeks and the difference is huge. Compared to my previous visits, today you were much more alert, your voice was much less monotonous, and you were very much the Frank I know and love (platonically speaking of course, I don't fancy older man. Or younger men, come to think of it.) And I won;t even think of how I found you in hospital in the days immediately after 'the event'.

    As for the rest, what Esther and (again) Rense said. Home is where the things you love are, and where your friends like to come because you are there.