But just before I disclose the meaning of the title; this day was far better than yesterday. The Kalorama people really had understood our agony yesterday, things were well arranged and Frank was comfortable when I came in. One of the nurses came in, made apologies for all the fuss yesterday and she acknowledged that it hadn't gone quite as it should have, which was really an understatement. Five minutes later another male nurse came in, again apologies. And to me it were not so much the apologies, but much more their receptiveness that really calmed me and brought back the feeling of trust that Frank is in the right place. And today it felt so much more a rehabilitation department of a nursing home (contrary to Margriet). The first nurse of tonight made clear that they were now going to start the rehab program and that they are going to work hard with Frank, that is, if he wants to make any progress. Now is the time to get back whatever is left. So that was very encouraging.
Thanks to Rense's textmassage I was informed that Frank wanted some lip balm so I arranged that for him as well as scissors to cut his nails which was very necessary. So I gave him a nice manicure (never done that before to someone else except my kids), I gave him the lip balm and he welcomed it very much (labello for man!) "So much better than the awful oral protection B, which smells like hell" and he balmed his lips himself. I cleaned his mouth and he sipped little drops of water from the sponges. And all that time Frank was more or less awake and watching TV with headphones on (which is not really helpful to divide his attention....), constantly pushing the buttons on his remote bed-control. So up in the air, and down again, almost sitting upright and laying back, exploring the function and possibilities of the bed he's in.
And arrived at that point I wanted to present my "masterpiece": I finally found Xena Warrior Princes!! after about 5 or 6 search attempts in Franks department. So I expected him to be very happy with it. Says the 'bl.... bast.....' "ah well that is not what I hoped for, I want the thunderbirds". So much for my masterpiece. So I teased him "you #**^*#^*<$". There was a little grim around his mouth which was for the first time since the stroke, at least for me, that I saw that. To me that was a jolly (isn't that a very old fashioned word??) good moment.
Well we'll see what Kalorama is going to bring. I think Frank could use a new round of postcards, to support and encourage him, he reads them himself and looks very pleased with all the attention.
So on behalf of Frank, the answer he keeps repeating when we sometimes read mail out loud:
"Tell them thanks"
My mission for tomorrow: finding Thunderbirds.......... although ;-))
Thousend times thanks!
To all the followers of the blog, to anyone who has been supportive of Frank or us in the last months and especially after his untimely death we want to say thanks from the bottom of our hearts. In the week after his passing we received so much warmth, stories, care and love, hardly describable. To us it was a very precious and valuable week and it was so good to have Frank at home where so many of his friends could visit him. And all the help, stories and info shared in that week led to a beautiful goodbye ceremony on a beautiful sunny autumn day. For those of you who could not attend, or those of you who wish to reread the funeral speeches, we publice them here (in dutch and english) with some pictures in grateful memory of, and tributed to Frank.We will miss him dearly, thanks for being with him and with us, one way or another,
On behalf of my family and his closest friends, Esther